I was in Cafe Q from three to five today to give back student journals and portfolios. Many students (well, six) had emailed to say they were already gone; I'm going to mail their work to them. The rest don't care, and I will have their don't-care portfolios in my linen closet until I am old and gray.
One student came right at three, apologizing for being late, and he was one of the nicest and most hardworking of them all and I wanted to say something to that effect but I was standing and a little flustered and ended up with the quick thank you have a great summer. After he left, I read Ann Truitt's journal "Turn" for two hours. At five a second student, just out of baseball practice, arrived, to my great relief, and I made him sit and talked his ear off like he was my last remaining connection to humanity.

Then I walked very slowly home in the spitting rain. I really wish right now that I knew for sure where I'm going to be in the fall. Isn't there some truism about it being easier to give something up when you know what you're gaining in return? If there isn't, I have invented a truism.
On the other hand, there's "Leap and the net will appear". But who said that? I bet it was someone living in a country with universal health insurance.

Now I have to stop worrying (and love the bomb) and go have a wonderful dinner with friends. Everything will work out. I just need to figure out a way to paint and write while retaining structure to my days.